Mirror Mirror on the Wall
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Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" We all remember this from Snow White, including the response: "You, my Queen, are fairest of all." At least until the mirror discovers Snow White, which angers the Queen when she hears, "Snow White is fairer than you." Why was the Queen so upset? It was true; Snow White was the fairest of them all. Why did the truth bother the Queen so much? Some might suggest that it was because the Queen didn't want to hear the truth, but the truth lies in self-deception. The Queen actually believed that she was the fairest because she had created a system (the magic mirror) that continually reinforced that self-perception. Unfortunately, the Queen's system had a fatal flaw - its validity and value was based entirely on the question that was asked, and the Queen was asking the wrong question. She was asking the question based upon the answer that she hoped to hear, rather than asking a question to discover her hidden strengths (e.g., "What am I best at?", "What is my highest and best use?", What are my strengths?").
We too tend to have our own "magic mirror" - friends and associates (or our own mind) that tell us what we want to hear - that prevents us from achieving our highest potential. We also ask ourselves and others the wrong questions. Let's be clear - I'm a big fan of confidence and positive self-talk, but we can only grow if we are honest with ourselves about our strengths and weaknesses. We need to find our true strengths and exploit them, while identifying our weaknesses and correcting them or building around them. But it all begins with asking ourselves the right questions.
Here are a few examples of questions we ask ourselves and better (more empowering) questions that we should be asking:
- Good: What can I do?
- Better: What should I do?
- Good: How can I achieve my goals?
- Better: In what ways can I achieve my goals?
- Good: Is this a good job for me?
- Better: Is this the job for me?
Our minds are incredibly powerful, and they're built to answer the questions that we ask. Too often we are asking the wrong questions (or limiting questions), which provides us with limited or incomplete answers.
In improving ourselves and our organizations, change (the right change) will come from asking the right questions. Asking the right questions will lead us all to not only good improvement opportunities, but to the right opportunities. As each of us commits to enhance our development and improve our results, remember this truth: Power is asking the right questions!
Jeff Nischwitz is a frequent speaker and trainer on various business topics including leadership, networking, business development, entrepreneurship and strategic action planning. Jeff is a partner with the law firm of Cowden & Humphrey (Entrepreneurs Advising Entrepreneurs) where he works with the firm and its clients on developing and implementing growth strategies. You can reach Jeff at (216) 373-7610 or jnischwitz@cowdenlaw.com.
