You Don't Hear How You Sound

When I was growing up my mother used to say ‘You don't hear how you sound.' And she was right. She said it so often, that I absorbed that statement and now try to monitor my communications. While I may not always be successful, I am a much better communicator than I used to be.

More often than not, we don't pay much attention to how we communicate - in writing and orally. In addition, there are more vehicles for conveying your message than ever before. Each carries its own set of possible landmines. Unfortunately, the consequences can be devastating.

Interestingly, there is a common thread to communication no matter who you are or what your position. That thread is clarity. Whether you are a salesperson, business owner, leader, parent, or educator you owe it to yourself and your audience to be as clear as you can. You want to be sure your message is received. As the transmitter you have an obligation to ensure this. Start with clarity and then ask for confirmation. This can be as simple as a summary - verbal or written. Making sure that you and your audience are on the same page will eliminate headaches in the future.

As you can see we are concentrating on transmitting, not receiving. While listening is a key element of communication, we will not be addressing it here. Since effective transmission is essential to business sustainability and growth, let's review some of its key aspect.

1.  Motivation/Goal

It is important to ask yourself what you hope to accomplish. Whether you are a manager speaking to an employee, a sales rep making a cold call, a speaker presenting information, there is some result you are hoping to elicit from your communication. Understanding that motivation or goal will help you frame the method and detail of your interaction.

Consider this example: A common rule of cold calling is to smile when you speak. That way you sound happy and upbeat when speaking with the stranger on the other end of the phone. Why is this important? Because you want the other person to feel you are friendly, engaging, and helpful. That way they'll want to listen to you and possibly meet you. In the end, that is your goal - to gain the appointment.

Let's try another one. Say you are a salesperson presenting a proposal to a prospect. Your motivation or goal is to turn that prospect into a client. The words you choose will be dynamic, informational, positive, and action-oriented. You will format the proposal in a way that leads the prospect to the end goal. You will, most likely, meet with them in person to be able to discuss the proposal with them, answer any questions or objections they may have, and read their body language to help you navigate the process.

Staying with this example, what happens when the prospect strings you along? You may be feeling like you've put a lot of work into the process and they owe you an answer. Maybe you think they owe you the business. If your motivation is to get the business, the last thing you want to do is tell them how much time and effort you've put in already. They don't care. While you are their partner, they ARE NOT yours. Put your needs on the back burner. You get what you ultimately want by helping them understand that you care about what THEY want and need.

2.   Audience

Knowing your audience is crucial to your success. The way in which you talk to a child is most likely different from the way you communicate with a co-worker. The same could be said for boss versus employee, friend versus stranger, prospect versus client.

When you are crafting any type of communiqué, think about who is going to be receiving it. Consider their perspective, goals, needs, level of knowledge, etc. This will also help you determine which vehicle will be most effective. For example, if you are trying to sell your product or service to a prospect, email is the wrong vehicle. Email is passive. You are putting the ball squarely in the prospect's court. The message you are sending is that you don't really care whether you do business with them or not. Or that you are uncertain with your product, or yourself. Don't be surprised if they don't care to learn more about you or your product. You aren't giving them a reason to care.

Now remember, I said prospect, not client. Clients are a different story. Once you've secured the business, you are in the process of building the relationship. There are people who prefer to communicate via email for various reasons. If your client expresses this desire, you are duty-bound to comply. It's how you show respect, that you're listening, and that you understand their needs. This is all part of the relationship building process.

3.   Method

Method comprises several aspects of communication. From face to face, email, phone, or written, to tone of voice, words, font style the method you use has everything to do with your chances for success.

Understanding the goal and the audience determines the method - words, vehicle, and location. Once you know the first two, you are better equipped to determine the method you should use. Consider the manager who has to evaluate an employee. He's not going to do it over the phone, is he? I would hope not!

Method also includes emotion - or lack thereof. Emotion really has no place in business. This is a tricky thing because you could say that in the sales process, you want to show energy and enthusiasm; or that as a manager you want to be authoritative. Emotion is defined as ‘a state of feeling; a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object . . . ‘ Enthusiasm and interest are different and completely acceptable. As is directness and clarity. Maintaining your emotional equilibrium and being perceived as a professional, no matter what role you play, is paramount. I submit to you that communicating emotionally will not help you achieve that perception.

So you can see that the way you communicate is dependent upon what you are trying to accomplish and who the players are. It is crucial to your success that you consider these criteria when communicating - with anyone. Taking the time to plan your correspondence can mean the difference between getting what you want and not!

Copyright© 2008 Seize This Day Coaching

Diane Helbig is a Professional Coach and the president of Seize This Day Coaching. Helbig works with salespeople, small business owners, and entrepreneurs, helping them realize success as they define it. Diane is also the Co-Founder of Seize True Success, a coaching practice dedicated to working with franchisees. Diane is a Contributing Editor on COSE Mindspring, a resource website for small business owners, as well as a member of the Sales Experts Panel at www.topsalesexperts.com. To learn more or schedule a complimentary discovery session, visit www.seizethisdaycoaching.com or www.seizetruesuccess.com.