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In my last article, I discussed a children’s book called My Princess Boy by Cheryl Kilodavis. In review, on the surface, it is about a little boy who likes the color pink and wants to wear dresses. Many individuals would see this as a book about the aspect of diversity that many people don’t want to discuss, sexual orientation. I also brought up the fact that sexual orientation is the aspect of diversity that many people still allow others to make jokes about and say inappropriate comments, and get away with it. However, on a deeper level, the book is about acceptance and compassion.
Before getting into the deeper lessons from the book, I want to talk about something else that I think the book actually addresses. While many people would see this as a book about sexual orientation, I see it as a book about gender expression. Sexual orientation is about who an individual is attracted to. However, according to the Center for Gender Sanity, gender expression is about everything that we do to communicate our sex or gender to others. This is expressed through clothing, hair styles, mannerisms, ways of speaking, how we interact with others, etc. This communication is done both intentionally and unintentionally. This is sometimes referred to as social gender because it relates to interactions between people. Trappings of a gender may be forced on children or by dress codes at school or work. Gender expression is a continuum, with feminine at one end and masculine on the other. In between those two expressions is referred to as androgynous (neither masculine nor feminine). Gender expression can vary for someone in different situations. However, the majority of individuals have a range on the scale where they feel the most comfortable. It is important to remember that sexual orientation and gender expression are two separate things.
At a deeper level, this book discusses and was written for people to be open and accepting of those who are different. Also, it’s about people not being mean spirited but instead compassionate towards those that are different from themselves. This is something challenging for children, but it is just as challenging for adults. As individuals, we have to be able to value and respect all people for them being who they truly are. We can’t judge, like, or dislike people for what they wear and how they express themselves. We have got to do a better job of being inclusive of all.